A protection racket that would make La Cosa Nostra beam with pride.

But this was run by Teh Eeeeevil Jooooooooooos and the targets were…… wait for it…… Rap artists.

Really.

A Zuper Zekrit Zionizt Plot ! *

OK, I see you laughing.

Don’t.

The FBI has released files on the murder of rapper Tupac Shakur, revealing that the Jewish Defense League (JDL) was suspected of extorting money from various rap music stars via death threats, including Tupac and another performer, Eazy-E.

“The scheme involves (name redacted) and other subjects making telephonic death threats to the rap star,” the files, declassified this week, explain. “Subjects then intercede by contacting the victim and offering protection for a fee. The victim and their family are taken to a ‘safe haven’, usually a private estate, and are protected by gun-toting body guards associated with the Jewish Defense League.”

After the victims were brought to the “safe havens,” the JDL would allegedly “convince the victim they have worked a ‘deal’ out…and the threats cease. The victim then pays the subjects for the protection services rendered and resume their normal lifestyle with no fear of further death threat.”

Part of me wants to treat this seriously in commentary – That there’s NO excuse for this in any form of civilized society and those involved need to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

But the other part that’s stronger and ‘winning !‘…… Well…… Weigh anchor !   Hoist the mainsail !   Secure the jib boom !   Cannons at the ready !   Snark to starboard !

— — — — —

Riiiiiiiiiing…… Riiiiiiiiiing…… Riiiiii……

“Yo yo yo, diss am be Da Rappa Crappa Slappa, waaasssuuup ?!?”

“Lizzen tuu mee ‘n lizzen guut, sonnyboy…… Vee gunna take a bagel vitt a schmear and stick it in your tuchis, then light a Shabbat candle on your noggin’, fershtay ?

“Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout and who you am be mo-fo ?”

“Who vee are duzzent matta…… Vee don’t like zee hip and vee don’t like zee hop.  Zo best get some shekles together and meet uzz at Katz’ Deli next Mond…… Oy !    Next Monday is no guut, doctor’s appointment – Meet uzz next Tuesday at Katz’ Deli at 4:30 – special early-bird dinner then – and vee talk about life and your future.”

“Mo-fo, whooo da f*** you think you am ?   I know who I am be – Da Rappa Crappa Slappa – da greatest rappa to evah slap crap.    Yo a** betta have some big peeps ‘n heavy tools o’ yo gonna be lookin’ fo new knees ‘n a new head.”

“Moishe, vatt iz it vitt deez peepel ? – Gevalt !”…………… “Be at Katz’ Deli Tuesday.   Voot be a shame iffen sumpteenk voot happen to your nice shiny Cadillac Escalade while you dryfink it.  What you haff wun o’ them Cadillacs for is a mystery.  Mercedes and Lincolns haff more legroom and are much more comfy on the back, plus I can get ’em for you wholes…… Vatt am I sayink ?!? ….. Be at Katz’, if you know vatts guut for you sonnyboy.”

Click.

“Yo…… Yo, you there mo-fo ?”……………… “Dat crazy homey hung up on me…… Where am be my ho ?…… Velveeta, get yo big o’ll butt in heah !   Call da crew, we gotsta go somewhere on Tuesday.”

=== === === === ===

Oops, did I go over some sort of ‘new civility’ line here ?

Good.

I’m gonna go a bit further.

These are my gut instincts:

Why is this coming out now ?

It could be that all law enforcement involved got all the ‘i’s crossed and t’s dotted’ very recently and released some information, with (yet-to-be-announced) charges pending against people.

There could be another reason – a simple and genocidal matter, because I have zero doubt in my mind that this is some sort of deliberate incitement directed toward ‘the rap community’ to enhance the current administration’s obvious disdain for Jews and hatred of Israel…… and what I fully believe will be a soon-to-happen cut off of all aid to Israel and what may be even worse, a blind-eye turned when Israel is heavily attacked by the peace lovers.

— — — — —

Kenny Solomon
Israel Survival Updates
Gimme a two-cents-plain and add a little chocolate sauce.

* A Zuper Zekrit Zionizt Plot ! …… Thanks to everyone at The Jawa Report for coining the term, including proper spelling.

Follow Israel Survival Updates On Twitter.

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4 Responses to A protection racket that would make La Cosa Nostra beam with pride.

  1. hORRIFIED IN hOLLYWOOD says:

    Two things, please confirm the date as Tuesday, 4/19…….and,
    what’s the Katz Deli address? Oh, another question, will you
    allow videos? VE say, never let a good chaos go to waste……

  2. janiel says:

    Katz’ Deli ain’t what it used to be… go to Sammy’s Romanian… you can get an old fashioned egg cream!

    • kennysolomon says:

      Egg creams I can make here in South Flori-duh. U-Bet, whole milk and real honest-to-goodness right-out-of-the-glass-squeeze-bottle seltzer.

      The food at Sammy’s…… That’s another thing entirely…… Gimme gimme gimme !

      😉

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