Passover Laws And Customs

Bubbe vants a sankvitch ?…… Put it on matzoh ! 😉

An annual offering of what and why from Israel National News.

Passover (Pesach) will take place this year between sunset on Monday, 18 April, and sunset on Monday, 25 April.   The first and seventh days are marked as Sabbath-like holy days (Yom Tov) in which work is forbidden.

Jews outside of Israel, and those visiting Israel only for the holiday, observe an additional day in both the beginning and end of Pesach, which lasts eight days for them.

Jews are commanded to tell the story of leaving Egypt as if it had happened to them personally and not as a mere historical event, in order to emphasize the importance of our hard-won and precious freedom.

Please click on the link above for the entire highly informative article.

Contrary to popular belief, Passover is a mostly very solemn ‘celebration’, so it’s not proper to say “Happy Passover”.

That being said, here’s some reality of circumstance:

Guys, your beautiful wife – life-mate ; mother of your children ; problem-solver – the ‘adventure’ you have with the build-up to her ‘monthly friend’ is a cakewalk compared to getting the house ready for passover.   Stand back, don’t say anything other then “yes dear” and if you value your life, make dang sure you do whatever is asked.

Ladies, it’s gut-check time: We’ve hit ‘the golden-hour’ – The start of baseball season, along with the first round of NBA and NHL playoffs.   Y’all need to lighten up a little.   Please.   We’ll make it up to you at some point in the current decade.

Kids – The light of every family gathering…… NO Uncle Bernie ! No matter how many times he walks up to you and simply stares at ‘that thing on your neck’ and asks to poke it, you can’t tie little David to the railing in the basement !…… And while we’re at it, Mindy !, your little brother is not a toy doll you can put in your clothes and make-up to show Grandma Gertie how cute he really can be.

“OK, everyone, we’re ready to start, come on into the dini………”

Aunt Esther, it’s not really nice to put two or three Passover rolls in you purse while you’re at the table.   You’re family – we’ll give you a bag of ’em to take home – like we do every year.

“I’m not sitting next to Herbie.   That putz still owes me a apology from blocking my view at the Alan King show in 1961 !”

“Maaaaaaa ! Why do I always have to sit at the folding table ?!?”

“What a lovely setting.   Of course if we were doing this at my house, things would be laid out different and look much better.”

“Uncle Morris ! Stop looking at Billy’s girlfriend like that !   This is her first time with the family !   How many times do I have to tell you she’s NOT ‘that’ kind of dancer – she’s a professional BALLET performer !”

— — — — —

Happy Passover.  😉

Kenny Solomon
Tonight, I’ll be at the pub having fried shrimp, a bacon-cheeseburger and watching The Miami Heat’s playoff game against Philly……… Well, I’ll be there in spirit at least.

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6 Responses to Passover Laws And Customs

  1. Gee, Kenny, sounds like you’re pretty exasperated with all your relatives who come to visit for Passover. ^^

    No offense, no offense, despite being a Gentile I know that this is one of the most, if not THE most important Jewish holiday.

    Anyway, (I hope I say this right) Chag Sameach.

    • kennysolomon says:

      Thanks Boss….. Much appreciated.

      I may add a few more ‘observations’ to the list – What you read was done early this morning before I had any coffee. That’s when the snark floweth at peak performance.

  2. Horrified in Hollywood says:

    For the past 15 years, we’ve lived in Florida where we’ve enjoyed Passover with friends. This year, cousins will be in Boca. We’ve giving up a wonderfully prepared dinner with friends to be with “cousins” that really don’t like each other, or us for that matter. But the economy being as it is, and the threats to Israel being what they are, and this one and that one may not be able to travel next year…….so we’re off to Boca. An hour up there, an hour back, 4 hours there and it’s time to eat again when we get back. Why do we do this? Tradition. Many people look as Jews and say they don’t witness for G-d by attending services. What they don’t realize is that Jews praise G-d at every meal and at every small gathering. Jews do good things for people, they just don’t advertise what they do. Jews take care of their own. So whether you’re celebrating Passover at home or with family or friends, thank G-d for today, pray for yesterday and tomorrow and don’t forget to vote the trash out in 2012.

  3. angelhouse1 says:

    Hey, Kenny

    I don’t think a lot of Gentiles understand the meaning of Passover, as they don’t have a Clue how to calculate when Easter falls… That one for sure!

    Wishing you a very meaningful Passover – I wonder if there are places that make this holiday and others, special for example for seniors, or those who don’t have a lot of family here, and may not have a place to go to celebrate this holy time of year… Maybe the JCCs or something I guess.

    We have two ladies at our house who are Jewish but I don’t begin to know how to go about this. I’ve often thought how nice it would be if I could get someone to come and visit them even monthly, say, to keep them more connected with their very tradition-rich faith and culture.

    It’s little short of miraculous, One is going to go to her grandson’s Bar Mitzvah on Memorial Day weekend! She has begun to talk, a Lot, and needs kept busier now, or she might say fairly obnoxious things! Certainly don’t have to guess what’s on her mind, lol. She blurts it right out these days… But she is having a Life again, at last, after a debilitating stroke over a year before coming to us…

    The mulberries are winding down, and I’m going to air-layer the tree to give some bushes to friends – berries are So sweet and juicy! We’re also doing hydroponic gardens that can grow in small spaces here in Davie. I’ve bought blueberry and blackberry bushes and rooted them in – s’posed to grow in zone 10! Fruit, farm-fresh eggs always on the menu at Angel House 🙂

    We’re full again for Residential full time care, but sometimes Day Care with healthy food, friends, social activities, regular meds and observation, exercise, PT, trips out to the Zoo, Lion Country, Parks and Parties, are all they need to be safe during the day, healthier and stronger, to stay a little independent longer! And love doing that in a small, Life-focused atmosphere in Pembroke Pines.

    Keep up the great work, Kenny – I look forward to your posts.

    Did you see the suggestion I made for getting back to your local community?

  4. Moshe Ben Avram says:

    Being the oldest male in my family, it falls on me to do the service every year. I’ll be with you at the pub, hehe, as damn near the same thing happens to me and mine.

Have at it....... But please be respectful and no f'n cussin' neither, ya heah ?...... Also please back up all claims of fact in your comments with links (yes, they will be verified before comment posting approved).

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